she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
