Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
