do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
