just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
