So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
