I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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