If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
