The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
