CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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