I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
