He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
