Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
