I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize