He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize