If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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