In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
