I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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