Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My vagina is officially offended.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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