I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
