She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
