Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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