Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
