we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
