After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
