he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
