Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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