Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
