oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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