Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
