I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize