just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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