Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
