I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
