so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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