I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drunk is not a location!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize