I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
