well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
