Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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