Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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