well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
