I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
