Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
