is your mom at the bar?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just had sex bonerless
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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