she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
