it was like his penis was on wheels.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize