I want to make a zoo with you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
