You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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