Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize