using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
