So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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