Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
