Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize