is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
