I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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