Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Boobs speak an international language.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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