i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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