We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
