I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
