...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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