Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
