I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
