He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
3 2 1 whiskey
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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