Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
