So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
