i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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