I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
